“Yellowstone” and the Problem of Choosing a Successor
Six observations for family enterprises.
There’s a scene from the television series “Yellowstone” that captures a father’s anguish as he tries to understand his own adult children. Understanding our kids seems easy enough. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn’t.
For “Yellowstone” and the multigenerational family ranch at the heart of its story, it’s never easy. The family’s patriarch, John Dutton, has no problem telling people exactly what he really thinks. But during a conversation with his son-in-law, Rip, he’s less certain, maybe a little disillusioned.
“You know, I got one child that I miss,” he says. “One child I pity. One I regret. But that girl — that child I envy.” — John Dutton, “Yellowstone” (1:50 mark)
Dutton’s words are harsh. Most parents either don’t feel this way about their children or they’d sure be careful who they said it to — not everyone has a Rip. Yet the moment resonates because of its honesty. Then add a family business, ownership, leadership and succession to the mix, and complexities that are already hard enough become much harder.
In cases where the matriarch or patriarch bears sole responsibility for selecting a family enterprise’s successor, as John Dutton does, these situations can become chaotic quickly. The chaos typically shows up despite well-meaning parents who love their children deeply. Yet, love rarely answers the question of the hour: Which child or children, if any, is best prepared to lead the family enterprise when the generation before them steps aside?
I don’t have a single answer to that question, but I do rely on a handful of observations and approaches that have helped families find answers of their own. Here are six:
1. “Matching” works better than “choosing.”
The burden of succession is lighter when founders stop viewing it as a choice they must make. Instead, part of developing a transition plan involves the work of matching members of the subsequent generation to the type of work he or she is naturally drawn to, within the constraints of what the business requires. Problems tend to arise when families try to force someone into a role simply because the business needs it filled. Or because a long-held expectation is wielding influence. The better question is not, “Who deserves this position?” but, “Who is best suited to do this work well?” Matching begins with reality rather than preference.
2. The “expected” successor isn’t always the right successor.
Every family inherits assumptions. In some families, the oldest child leads. In others, the son leads. In the South, assumptions and traditions seem firmer and more influential than in other regions of the country. These cultural and environmental dynamics must be anticipated and addressed. Don’t let a long-held idea or expectation confuse an otherwise clear and undeniable answer.
3. Transition is often about recognizing the season you’re in as a family and as a business.
Depending on the stage your business is in, its next leader may not need to be a replica of its founder. A business that was built through grit and risk-taking may later benefit from a leader whose strengths are grounded in discipline and operational excellence. People move through seasons, too. The child who wasn’t ready at 25 may be uniquely qualified at 45. Successful transitions often happen when families recognize how both the business and the next generation have evolved over time.
4. Choosing a successor is one of the most vulnerable moments in leadership.
Many founders quietly carry a fear that if the next generation struggles, it reflects on them as parents. The burden isn’t just about sustaining the life of the business or preserving wealth. It can feel like a final exam testing your ability as a parent and leader. While parents do have a vital role to play, it’s also true that children are shaped by both genetics and environment. Who they become rarely follows a path that can be predicted or controlled. Nor does succession follow a straight path. Sometimes the best successor isn’t a family member at all. Other times, leadership skips a generation simply because the timing of a transition doesn’t align with the age, experience or readiness of the next generation.
5. Your child’s entitlement may be a conditioned response.
Many challenges families face during transition begin long before a transition is underway. When a child is taught that leading the family enterprise is his or her natural next step, expectations take root long before capability is tested. Or, in a similar but different scenario, a child with little interest in the family business may be taught that joining it is the only honorable path forward, making the enterprise feel more like an obligation than an opportunity. The better path? Avoid raising successors when you can raise capable adults instead.
6. Sometimes leaving the business is part of preparing for it.
Outside experience helps subsequent generations discover their strengths, develop professional credibility and learn how they perform without the safety net of the family name. It also helps them figure out whether they genuinely want to return to the family enterprise. The strongest successors are often not the ones who felt obligated to come back, but the ones who chose to. In those cases, the decision to return is informed by a clearer understanding of individual talents and interests, and how those qualities align with the needs of the business.
Related Things to Read
Many of the observations and patterns I’ve shared are supported through research, surveys or other benchmarks. Here are a few, if you’d like to dig deeper.
Understanding Human Behavior: Nature, Nurture, and Individual Differences
A useful overview of behavioral genetics, personality development, and the interaction between inherited traits and life experiences. It provides context for why children raised in the same family often become very different adults.
The Next Generation and the Future of Family Business
Deloitte’s global research explores how families are preparing future leaders, the challenges they face identifying successors, and why leadership readiness remains one of the largest barriers to successful transitions.
Why Matching Strengths Often Outperforms Filling Roles
Gallup’s research demonstrates the value of aligning people with work that fits their natural talents rather than forcing them into roles that don’t. It directly supports the idea that succession is often a matching exercise rather than a choosing exercise.
Independent pieces become a thriving collective.
While this growth signals success, it also invites complexities involving generational tax planning and the expanding involvement of family members.
As a private asset management and family CFO office, i3 Global Enterprises helps families in business navigate the unique financial challenges and interpersonal conflicts that threaten long-term wealth preservation and growth. To learn more about i3 Global Enterprises and its services, visit i3resources.com or email us at info@i3resources.com.